


Start at the Bottom

by Snafu07



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Male Slash, Relationship(s), Romance, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-21
Updated: 2013-06-21
Packaged: 2017-12-15 16:56:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/851846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snafu07/pseuds/Snafu07
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint has a secret that's keeping him and Phil from having intercourse. Phil is determined to find out what it is; so he can fix it and get on with the sex!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Start at the Bottom

**Start at the Bottom**

 

When Phil Coulson ‘came back from the dead’ he and Clint Barton threw away past reservations and developed a special relationship. A very close, very personal, very special relationship. 

Anyone with two eyes, half a brain, or the common sense of a cabbage could see it. Their co-worker’s at SHIELD could see it and tried like hell to ignore it. The Avengers could see it and likewise, tried like hell to ignore it. Even the public could see it and that was pretty impressive with the two of them being super-secret spies and all. Anyone could see it.

It probably wouldn't be as obvious if they didn't have that staring into each other's eyes problem. Or the tendency to touch each other none stop problem. Or the completing each other's sentences problem. And it would really help if they didn't have that problem where they would forget (or possibly ignore) the fact that anyone else was in the room and start pawing at each other.

And paw at each other they did. They made out so often Fury often to see if his ‘one good eye’ had grown some sort of gills that could breathe for him while his mouth was smashed down on Clint's. They jerked each other off so often they knew the feeling of each other's dicks just as well as their own, and exactly how they liked it. They exchanged blowjobs and contorted into 69 positions so often, Natasha had actually looked up the caloric content of semen on the computer because it seemed to be making up 50% of the men’s' diets (though she’d deny caring). They touched each other and got each other off in every way possible. 

Except one.

They weren't having sex.

Anything and everything else.

But they weren't having sex.

And it drove Phil crazy.

Because Phil was ready.

So fucking ready.

He was ready at this very minute as he laid naked on Clint's bed in Stark Tower, flipping through a report on the Avengers most recent incident as Clint napped next to him, rendered exhausted from the blowjob Phil had just given him. Clint was curled up on his side, his head resting in that area between Phil's shoulder and chest where a head can rest with the up most comfort, Phil's arm wrapped around him. Phil was flipping through the report, but he wasn't really reading it. His mind was focused on the one thing it had been focused on for weeks now; sex with Clint.

Phil squirmed a little when that thought had the effect it always had. He lowered his report, looked down across his body, and watched as his limp cock began to fill slightly and rise from where it rested against his thigh.

"Hmm..." Phil muttered to himself, half in frustration, and half in pleasure. He could picture it, sprawled out on this bed, pinned beneath Clint as the stronger man thrust in to him over and over again, bringing them both to the point of no return. He swallowed another strangled moan, not wanting to wake Clint.

Phil just couldn't understand it. Clint was more than willing to do anything with him. That point was very much proven not an hour ago when Clint allowed Phil to bind him up with neck ties and tease him for what felt like forever before finally completing the blowjob. 

Clint was never shy or nervous about trying anything new, even if it was different, or even a little kinky. Despite it being the first relationship with another man for both of them. He was far from a shy nervous virgin about any of it.

But anytime Phil even mentioned Clint making love to him, or in the moments when he wasn't using his pretty words, begging Clint to fuck him, Clint froze, pulled away, and it would take Phil quite some time to coax him back into a loving, playing mood. He had tried to get Clint to explain it, but so far he hadn't gotten any concrete answers. 

He knew it had nothing to do with a bad experience; Clint had spent hours assuring him of that. Phil also knew it had nothing to do with religion or any 'that would make me being gay concrete' homosexual hang ups. Clint had assured him of that too. 

He had once mumbled he was just not ready for sex. And Phil had noticed that when it was just referred to as sex, Clint didn't freak out quite as badly. But fucking hell, it was whenever Phil referred to it as being made love to or being fucked that Clint got all bent out of shape.

Phil just didn't understand it. He didn't understand it at all.

The only things Phil could come up with were that Clint was afraid he would hurt him. And now Phil would be the first to admit that Clint was very well endowed, but it wasn't so large that he was afraid of it. He was actually looking forward to it. But the two of them had always been very safe with each other and respectful towards each other’s boundaries, so he just couldn't convince himself that that was the reason. 

And then Phil thought that maybe Clint was afraid of transmitting some kind disease. But after everything else they _had_ done together, Phil knew Clint wasn't so naive as to believe that sex was the only way to pass on an STD, so he couldn't convince himself that that was the reason either.

And the only other explanation Phil could ever conjure up was that for some weird, fucked up reason, Clint wanted to preserve his virginity. At least his virginity with another man. Which was stupid. And girly. And archaic. Did he really want to wait until they got married? Is that what it was about? Phil just couldn’t believe that was the reason, especially since he knew Clint had more than his fair share of pre-marital relations in his life.

Phil obviously hadn't bottled the sigh he let out as well as he had hoped, because he felt Clint stir next to him, felt the warm hand that smoothed over his stomach, resting right above his still semi-hard erection. Phil could feel Clint smile against his shoulder. "And what has you so amused?"

Clint tilted his head slightly so he was almost looking up at Phil. "Hmm..." He yawned. "What has you half excited?"

Phil had to smile back at him. It was damn near impossible not to when Clint was all tousle haired and sleepy eyes. "Just thinking."

Clint was now tracing mindless patterns on the skin right above Phil's privates. "About what?"

Phil felt himself harden further from Clint's touch. He closed his eyes and groaned. "Same thing I'm always thinking about these days."

"Reports?"

"No, the other thing."

"Training schedules?"

"No, the other thing."

"Captain America?"

"No, the other thing."

"Stark’s more recent stunt?"

"No, the other thing."

"Alright, I'm at a loss, what else do you think about?"

Phil opened his eyes and shifted the arm he had wrapped around Clint so that he could rub the man's shoulder with his hand. "Sex Clint... I'm thinking about sex."

"Hmmm..." Clint murmured again, his fingers caressing a little closer to Phil's manhood now. "Were you hoping I'd return the favor from before? Were you looking forward to your own blowjob?"

Phil shook his head. "Nope, no blowjob." He paused, taking a breath, and then decided it was time to bite the bullet. "I was thinking about real sex. About you making love to me."

And just like it always happened, Clint froze. His hand ceased its movement and he began to pull away from where he rested on Phil's shoulder.

Phil was ready for him though. He held tight to Clint, forcing him to stay where he was. "Don't even think about it Barton, not this time. I'm tired of this." He hoped he was the only one who could hear the whine in his voice. "We're either going to have sex or you're going to explain to me when we can or why we can't."

"Phil..." And Phil was surprised to hear the tremble in Clint's voice. "I said I'm not ready, why isn't that enough of an answer for you?"

"Because I don't buy it as an answer." Phil responded and he felt Clint tighten even more in his arms. "Listen, I'm not in to coercion, forcing you, or anything like that. But I don't buy that you aren't ready. I think it's something else. And I think it's most likely something we can resolve quite quickly and then get on with the sex."

Clint was trying to pull away again, but was unsuccessful when Phil had him so firmly. "Phil... no... I can't... I mean... I don't." He gave another tug. "I can't talk about this!"

Hearing the panic in Clint's voice, Phil gathered him even closer, not as much holding him captive now, but holding him to comfort him. He went back to rubbing his shoulder lightly and placed small kisses on his forehead. "When has there ever been anything we couldn't talk about? We talk about everything. You can tell me anything. You know that."

Clint relaxed in Phil's arms. "Not this."

Phil placed more kisses, moving from his forehead to his cheeks and nose as well. "Are you afraid you're going to hurt me?"

Clint closed his eyes tight and shook his head.

"Do you have some STD you're afraid of transmitting?"

Clint shook his head again. "No, it's not either of those."

"Do you have some medievaly romantic need to keep me a ‘virgin’ until I'm married?"

Clint actually managed a small laugh at that. "No Phil, it isn't that either; trust me."

Phil smiled softly and kissed Clint softly on the lips. "Then why don't you tell me what it is? I can tell it's something that upsets you, don't you think you'll feel better about it if you let it out in the open. I promise if it's something I don't think we can resolve easily I'll drop the subject and never speak of it again unless you bring it up."

Clint was shaking lightly in Phil's arms. He drew his face away from the kisses and buried it in Phil's chest, careful of the mostly healed scar. "I can't Phil, I can't." He mumbled almost incoherently. "I'm too embarrassed."

Phil's heart swelled. He was so in love with this man and as much as it hurt him to see Clint in a vulnerable state, it still meant something very important to him that he was the only one who ever got to see him that way. "Don't be embarrassed. There's no reason to be embarrassed about something in front of me. We both have had our embarrassing moments. Do you remember the first blowjob I tried to give you? Nothing could be more embarrassing then that."

Clint was beginning to feel a little more confident. Phil was right, if he wouldn't understand; who would? "Phil." He started slowly, cursing the way his voice still seemed to shake. "Why do you want to have sex with me?"

"Why?" Phil seemed temporarily stunned. "Hell Clint, I thought that was pretty obvious. I'm in love with you. I want us to take that next step so we can be even closer. Sex is like joining as one, isn't it? I want us to share that. I want us to be able to express that to each other."

Clint had to bury his face in Phil's chest again because the sheer power and love of that comment had overwhelmed him beyond anything he had known possible. It took him a good few minutes to recover. When he finally did he lifted his head and looked back up at Phil. He hoped like hell that he was imagining that he felt tears in his eyes, maybe that they were there just because he had only just woken up a few moments ago. "And why do you want it to be me who makes love to you? Why not the other way around?"

Phil was looking shocked again. He needed a moment to comprehend the question before he was able to give an answer. "To be honest... I never pictured you on the receiving end. Every time I thought about it, I just assumed you'd make love to me. Why?"

"You never thought about it the other way? You never thought what it would be like to make love to me?"

Phil shook his head no. But then he began to think about it. He could picture it, sprawled out on this bed, Clint pinned beneath him as the he gently thrust in to him over and over again, bringing them both to the point of no return. The idea made him harder than he had ever been before. Harder even then the thought of Clint making love to him made him. Phil eyes were wide as he stared down at Clint. "I never thought about it that way."

Clint stared nervously back. "Would you be willing to do it that way?"

Phil almost laughed. "Would I be willing? Are you joking? I'm the one who has been begging for sex. I'd be willing to do it any way." But then he dropped the joking tone. "Why? Is this going to be one of the lectures on how we're supposed to be equals?"

Clint smiled at him. "No, it's not that, it's just that I..." He quickly stopped himself as he realized he had been about to spill it all.

Phil palmed Clint's cheek with his hand and leaned in to kiss him lightly again. "It’s okay, whatever it is, it’s okay. Just tell me."

Clint smiled a little sadly at Phil and then placed his head back down, shifting up a little so it rested right under his throat. He drew in an extremely deep breath and began. "It's never been that I didn't want to have sex. I feel the same way you do; I'm in love with you too. You know that. I'm dying to take that next step so we can be even closer, so that we can do that whole joining as one thingy you said." He paused and drew another shaky breath. "However, whenever I think about it, I never picture me making love to you. I always picture you making love to me. And unlike you, when it dawned on me that it could work both ways, I had no desire to make love to you. When I informed you that you could make love to me, you were all for it, but Phil, I don't think I could return the favor."

Phil was silent as he thought; processing completely before he responded. "This is why you've been avoiding this? Because the only way you would want it is for me to make love to you?"

Clint nodded against Phil. "I thought... I thought... Hell, I don't know what I thought. Maybe that you'd make fun of me or something, call me a girl for wanting to take it instead of give it."

Phil was now holding Clint so tight he wasn't sure how either of them could still breathe. "Did you really think I'd ever say any of those things to you?"

Clint shook his head no. "When I think about it now, I realize how fucking unreasonable I was being. I think maybe I was transferring my own disgust with myself over to what I would say if I was you."

Phil kissed the top of Clint's head again. "There's no reason to be disgusted with yourself! And I definitely am not! It's what feels good to you, it's what feels right. If you want to be fucked in the ear by a carrot that's fine, as long as it's what right to you!"

Clint placed soft wet kisses on Phil's collar bone. Why had he ever thought Phil wouldn't understand? Why had he been so stubborn about this? "Fuck Phil, I love you so much. Thank you."

"For what? Not being a dick?"

Clint smiled and laughed. "Exactly..." This time he smirked. "Well, for understanding."

Phil placed more kisses along where Clint’s forehead met his hair. “Of course I’d understand.” He was glad Clint couldn’t see the evil grin on his face. “In some relationships sex is an equality thing; both partners take as well as receive. And then in others there’s a separation, the top and the bottom, the man and the bitch, the dominant and the submissive.” He slid the arm that wasn’t around Clint down the other man’s back, over the curve of his butt, finally grabbing an ass cheek softly. “It’s funny though Clint, in a million years, I never would have pictured you a bottom boy.”

Clint could hear the teasing in Phil’s voice and knew that he was just joking, but the fear and humiliation he had been trying to hide before was flooding to the surface. Once again he tried to pull away from Phil. 

“Oh no no no. No you don’t.” Phil grabbed Clint’s butt even tighter and held him still. “You know I was joking, don’t you go anywhere!” 

“Fuck off Phil, I’m not a submissive and I’m no one’s bitch!” Clint struggled to break free from Phil’s hold.

Phil gave Clint’s back side another squeeze and wrapped his other arm tighter around his man’s back. Clint was upset with him, yes. But he had finally gotten him to admit this deep dark secret he had been carrying around for so long. And yes, it had been a surprising deep dark secret, but not a horrible one. Actually, Phil was pretty excited about it now that he knew. He hadn’t been lying to Clint; never in a million years would he have ever pictured his big tough man as the bottom in their sexual relationship. 

The whole time he had just assumed it would be him. They were equals in this relationship, but Clint was such a dominant person in all other aspects, Phil’s brain just never allowed him to imagine Clint wanting it any other way. But he did. Maybe Clint needed one aspect of his life where he didn’t have to be dominant, where he didn’t have to be in control. Maybe Clint wanted something where he could just let someone else take the lead. Phil’s felt his insides go warm again. And of course, if Clint did want someone to do that, he would want that to be Phil. Phil slipped his fingers inside the crease of Clint’s back side and stroked downwards very softly. “But you are a bottom aren’t you?”

Slightly shocked, Clint ceased his struggling.

“Because you want this.” Phil stroked his fingers back up, pressing a little harder this time so that they brushed against Clint’s puckered entry. “Because you need this.”

Without meaning to or even knowing he was doing it, Clint pushed back to meet those probing fingers.

Phil removed his fingers quickly, allowing them to scramble over the bedspread in search of the small bottle of lube he had discarded earlier while teasing Clint. When he found it, he expertly flipped it open with one hand and poured some on to his fingers. Tossing the bottle aside again, he returned his fingers to the last place they had been. This time he didn’t just flit across Clint’s hole. This time, with lube soaked fingers he swirled around it applying much more pressure than he had before, pressing teasingly into it. “Because you’ve been yearning for this for so long that right now, I could call you anything I wanted just as long as I kept doing exactly what I am doing.”

Clint was returning to his senses now and he was wondering exactly where Phil had learned to talk like that. They whispered dirty little nothings to each other, screamed out there perverted little fantasy mid coitus, but Clint had never heard Phil speak like this. And the worst (or possibly best) part of it all was that Phil was right. He could call him anything he wanted, just as long as he kept doing what he was doing. As long as he went further. “Phil…”

Phil smirked when he heard the longing in Clint’s voice. He knew he had been right. Of course he did, because otherwise he wouldn’t be doing what he was doing. 

So, Phil stopped teasing. Starting with his one finger he slid it right into Clint, felt around a little to learn what his restrictions might be. He slid it back out and then in again so that he was fucking Clint with his finger.

Clint wouldn’t have been able to hold in his moan of pleasure if Tony had offered him all his money to do so. This was what he had been waiting for. He couldn’t explain it and most of his life hadn’t wanted to be able to, but all he had ever wanted was to be touched this way, to be handled this way, to feel something inside him like this. 

Even before he had met Phil and he had been with girls, this had been missing. And then when Phil became his and they started their relationship, he knew that in order for it to be complete, at least sexually, this was going to have to be a part of it at some point.

Phil was using two fingers now and he was amazed by how tight it was, how hot it was, and how much he wanted to stick his dick in there. He continued to finger fuck Clint, in and out, every once and a while twisting or turning his fingers. At one point he hit something small, hard, and bumpy and Clint let out a pleasure soaked gasp, so Phil was now making a point to find whatever that was and hit it over and over again. “And it’s not just that you need this. You need this from me. You couldn’t just let anyone do this to you. It has to be me. Because I’m the one you love. I’m the one who loves you. I’m the one who understands.”

Clint let out another gasp, which ended on a porn style groan. “Hell yeah… Shit Phil… I need you to do this… Fuckin… Please Phil, I love you…”

Phil didn’t bother with a 3rd finger. He pulled his fingers from Clint and grabbed the bottled of lube again. He made sure his hardened member was nice and slick before turning Clint on to his back and grabbing his hips. He positioned himself behind his lover and with a steady hand and the slowest, gentlest of speeds, guided himself into Clint.

The feeling was pure nirvana. 

On both sides. 

For Clint, it was what he had been wanting and needing for so long now. 

And for Phil, his first taste of sex with Clint was bound to be nirvana.

After giving Clint some time to adjust and finding a rhythm, Phil coaxed Clint into turning around, pulling him up so he was on his knees. Phil found that it was easier to strike Clint’s little pleasure bump with his dick than it had been with his fingers, especially doing it like they were now, with Clint facing the bed. No one would blame them if it only lasted a minute and a half, as they were both getting what they had lusted after for so long now. But they made a good go at it and surprised even themselves.

Sometime later after they were finished, they lay curled up under the covers, ready for sleep, Clint once again in Phil’s arms. 

As Phil stared at him, he swore the blonde looked so content; he was half expecting him to start purring. “You enjoyed that then?”

“Mmm…” Clint murmured, snuggling closer to Phil’s slight frame. “You could say that. But I’m pretty fucking sure you did as well.”

Phil smirked. “Well yeah, I did. But I don’t think as much as my little…”

Clint cut him off. “Call me a bitch or a submissive and that is that last time we ever do that.”

Phil kissed him full on his angered mouth. “I wasn’t going to call you either of those, because you were right, you aren’t either of those. There isn’t a submissive bone in your body and trust, I’m plenty aware you’re all man, not bitch.”

Clint gave a little smirk and kissed him back. “So what were you going to call me?”

Phil’s eyes were sparkling. “What do you think?” And he gave Clint’s backside a small pinch.

Clint turned a little pink, but he kept his gaze on Phil. Finally he sighed and shrugged. “Alright, maybe I’m a bit of a bottom boy. But if you ever mention that fact to anyone I’ll…”

Phil cut him off with another thorough kiss. “Don’t worry; your secret is safe with me. You may be a bottom boy, but you’re my bottom boy, and I kinda want to keep it that way.”

The end.

**Author's Note:**

> Un-beta'd. This is sort of a rework of a story I wrote long ago that never really worked with the original characters. Reading it recently I realized how very Phil and Clint it sounded, so I reworked it and here it is. Hope you enjoy it.


End file.
